Emotional Blackmail

Many relationships function on a level that isn’t healthy for either partner, yet each person seems willing to hold onto the relationship at all costs. Their love for each other and desire to remain in the relationship is stronger than the problems they’re going through.

This can be most often seen in cases of emotional blackmail. This is where one person behaves inappropriately within the relationship and then blames the other for the behavior. The partner receiving all the blame instantly feels guilty and inadequate and wants to try harder to please.

An example of this kind of behavior could be when a man goes out to pick up a one-night-stand and is caught red-handed. Instead of apologizing to his partner and begging for forgiveness, he’ll immediately blame his partner for not being there for him and so he had to look elsewhere.

This makes the woman feel as though she’s not good enough, or not doing something right, and she tries to make amends by being a better partner, all the time watching her self-esteem drop lower and lower as she believes she’s not good enough to please her man.

This is emotional blackmail and it’s unfair. In this example, the man is refusing to take responsibility for his indiscretion. The woman is accepting the responsibility for the weakness of another person.

There are plenty of other situations where emotional blackmail can exist. Your partner might make you take responsibility for him or her failing to get ahead in a career. You might find that some couples blame each other for being held back financially or for being overweight or for having no friends.

No matter what the issue, emotional blackmail is a major cause of relationship breakdown.

Mending the Rift

If you believe you’re being emotionally blackmailed by your partner, remember that it’s not your job to take responsibility for another person’s actions and choices. Your partner made the choice to act a certain way given a certain situation and nothing forced him into doing it except his or her own mind.

It’s important to talk calmly and rationally about the behavior and find out why your partner believes you’re at fault for his actions. Don’t accept responsibility for his actions.

When both partners in a relationship take responsibility for their own behavior and actions, it’s much easier to build a strong partnership based on trust and respect.

When it comes to seducing a woman, attitude plays a very big role in how successful, or unsuccessful you are. If you have a positive attitude you’re more likely to attract women more easily than a guy with a negative attitude. Being positive and upbeat shows in nearly everything you do, as does being negative and glum. Women are much more likely to choose the positive, upbeat guys.

First, a positive attitude reflects confidence and self-respect. As we already discussed, confidence and self-respect are vital. A positive attitude also directly affects how other people feel when they’re around you. For example, have you ever had a friend or co-worker who was always down or pessimistic? If you have, did you notice that after a while his or her mood started making you feel down or uncomfortable or irritable? Chances are it’s happened to all of us.

So remember, if for no other reason than to not be a dark cloud hanging over everyone’s head, try your best to be positive and have a good attitude.
But it goes much further than that. When you’re trying to make your best impression on a woman, being negative will not work. You have to feel good before you can make anyone else feel good. You have to radiate the same kinds of feelings you want to receive. If you’re not giving off those positive vibes we’ll pick up on it and most likely steer clear of you.

The bottom line: women like to find a man who’s stable. Part of what women judge stability on is your work. No, this doesn’t mean you need to be a rocket scientist. It simply means that if you’re changing jobs every couple of months, or getting let go for poor attitude or poor performance, which is directly affected by your attitude, then we’re going to think twice before we get involved with you. Remember, women are looking for a partner; a 50 – 50 relationship.

People have taken to online dating like a duck takes to water…because it works…or, at least, it can work. Women are, in general, terrified of meeting a man that she has been chatting with online. All they have heard about are the scary things that can happen…and, I must say, they have a right to be careful to the extreme. That’s not only wise but vital. So what’s a nice guy to do? You aren’t a pervert, a sexual predator, or a weirdo. You are just a nice guy looking for “the” girl for you.

You must be patient. Don’t press her for personal information like her real name or where she lives. Keep your conversations light and fun until she feels comfortable talking with you online. Don’t try to rush her into meeting face-to-face. She will think you are desperate or a pervert. Patience. Patience. Patience.

Be absolutely honest about your physical appearance and job. A good relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit. Eventually she will find out the truth anyway and there you are back at square one.

A picture really is worth a thousand words. Post many pictures of yourself doing your everyday activities and make them full body shots, not just head shots. If you were dating a girl in the real world she wouldn’t just see your head.

Once the discussion has been opened about meeting face-to-face for the first time, suggest that you meet in a very public place, during daylight hours and that she bring a friend with her. After all, you have nothing to hide. You’ve told her the truth about yourself and she has already seen a lot of pictures of you. The only thing left is to make her feel safe meeting you.

By this point, you should be really starting to get used to talking to women. You should also be getting really good at making yourself feel confident in any situation. If you’ve faltered on either lesson, as in you didn’t do any of it, go back and start over.

Again, think what would happen if a fighter only trained for a week before he got into the ring with a first-rate killer? It probably wouldn’t turn out very good for that fighter. If you’re serious about picking-up and dating hot women, you must put your all into this. It’s not like there’s any exercise involved. All you’re doing is thinking and talking. Anyone can do that.

Ok, enough scolding. This week you may encounter some bruising – ego bruising, that is. You never quite know how you’re going to react when that flood of cortisol flows through your body when you approach a very attractive woman. That sense of panic, that ‘fight or flight’ feeling can really mess with your brainwaves and it can turn you into a downright stuttering moron. But you’re going to overcome those feelings with practice.

Just like in the previous lessons, you’re going to use your visualization object and you’re going to use your three primary goals: Get them to talk about themselves, get them to smile or laugh, and then you’re going to walk away.

Don’t Get Discouraged

If you started completely from scratch, (as in, you’ve never had success with hot women before in your life) then this lesson may be the hardest one yet. Just getting up the nerve to walk up to a hot woman can be incredibly unnerving.

But know this: To pick up hot women, you don’t need:

–    Lots of Money
–    A Fancy Car
–    A High-Paying Job
–    Or Anything Else Tangible

The only thing you need to pick-up and date hot women is confidence. And you’ve already got that part down with your visualization object. With the ability to make yourself feel like a king, even for a just a few minutes, you’ll be able to muster up what it takes to attract hot women, no matter what you look like, what you drive, where you live or anything else about you that you think holds you back.

The Hidden Secrets To Dating Beautiful Women

Really good looking women will be attracted to you because you’re confident, bottom line. If you can get a hot woman to talk about herself, and you can be funny while you’re doing it, while remaining confident at the same time, you’ll see how easy it is to attract and date extremely attractive women.

Those three things alone are what every hot woman wants and doesn’t usually get. In fact, most of the really attractive women find that they meet stuttering, nervous men who are somewhat intimidated by her. Don’t be one of those guys and she’ll notice immediately.

Practice this lesson for one week, even if you fall flat on your face and you embarrass yourself in front of a room full of people. When that happens, learn from it, get back up, dust yourself off and keep going.
Treat this like a competition, like a match or a fight. Train as hard as you can, and as often as you can, and soon you’ll have hot women eating out of the palm of your hand. But first you must learn the basics. You must take your licks.

So for one week, talk to any hot woman you see, use the visualization object to create a boost of confidence and use the first two goals to keep the conversation going. Then, just walk away. If you fail more than you succeed, don’t worry. That just means that you’re still learning.

And you’ll need that learning and experience for the next week, which will be the most challenging week yet. Look for tomorrows article on the steps you need for dating hot women.

I’m sure you want your date to have fun and you want to have fun, too! You want to ensure that the conversation is interesting and stimulating to both of you.

Body language always speaks first in any conversation. When you are confident your body relaxes, becomes more open, you lean in, you smile, and you become more animated. When you are tense or not at ease with yourself, you will be sitting back, crossing your legs, maybe your arms, your mouth will barely break a smile, and your eyes will be searching elsewhere in the room. Knowing this will allow you to convey confidence with your body language.

Your verbal dating conversation skills will largely be judged on how able you are to create a conversation that your partner enjoys. Ultimately, that leads to you getting more dates. If you’re thinking this is obvious, yes it is! The question is HOW to create an interesting conversation.

Your dating conversation will be made up of you both asking and answering questions. If you ask the right questions, your partner is going to have fun. If you ask the wrong questions, they are going to ditch you. If you are evasive or less than honest when answering her questions, she is going to ditch you quicker.

Questions are powerful. Funny thing is that when a person is asked a direct question they somehow feel obligated to answer it. Here are some conversation starter question ideas for your first date:

“What do you love to do in your spare time?”
“What do you particularly enjoy about that?”
“If you could go on a fantasy holiday, anywhere in the world, where would it be and what would you do?”

By asking these questions you will cause your date to recall pleasant past experiences and share them with you.

I know this tip may sound very cliché, but it’s true. At some point or another we’re all guilty of judging something, or someone, based on appearance alone. While it’s not right, we still seem to have that tendency to be superficial. This type of behavior can be very detrimental when it comes to seducing a woman. Women like to be appreciated for who they are, not what they look like. Even those women who have great physical beauty don’t necessarily want to be judged on that characteristic alone.

Women keep the thought in the back of their mind that one day they may want to have a child. If and when they become pregnant, look at all the changes their body goes through. The mere fact that their body has to expand at a very rapid pace to accommodate the growth of the baby is frightening. And the knowledge that their figure may never be the same is equally frightening.

Another thought that women have is that eventually we all get older and less youthful in appearance. We know that in general, a man is considered more distinguished looking when his hair takes on the salt and pepper look, whereas women merely look old. A few wrinkles on a man are no big deal, but for women the first sign of a wrinkle is cause to consider botox treatment, or more. Society has made women terribly self conscious. Bear in mind when considering what you truly believe is important in a woman. If looks is top on your list it will surely lead to a very dissatisfying experience for you, and your woman.

I’m not trying to say that you have to resolve to be happy with someone you find utterly unattractive. Women all have preferences in looks, personality and many other traits that we have to abide by. It’s a matter of compatibility. But what women do have to take into consideration is that attraction is not just a matter of physical appearance. So take the time to find out what’s inside before you discount women based on what’s outside.

 

Sometimes, knowing what you’re looking for in a woman can be quite difficult. And if you’re one of them, don’t get discouraged. It truly isn’t as difficult as you may think to find the right woman for you.

The very first thing you must do is resign to be very open-minded. You need to cast aside all the standards that you may have been using and start from scratch. Forget what all your buddies say is attractive. Never mind what you see in the lingerie commercials on television. You’ll want to start with the very basics of what makes two people compatible, not two lovers, but two people in general, in order to find what kind of person works for you.

 

In order to find out what you are really looking for in a woman, you need to take the time to consider the complete person, not just the body. You need to take into consideration things like personality, interests, ambition and then looks. You’re probably wondering why I listed those traits in the order I did.

 

If you consider looks first it will tend to cloud your judgment on all the other traits. Men tend to be very easily visually stimulated. For this reason, what excites them at first sight tends to be what they think they want.

However, if you consider what you want in the other areas, the looks may not be so important. You may find that a woman with a great personality that likes football and racing as much as you do and who takes her career as a human resources director seriously,

 

but who happens to be a brunette with only an average build, would suit you just fine. Personality, intelligence, ambition, sense of humor and interests play a much bigger role in attraction than just physical appearance.

When it comes to dating (or even seducing) a woman, confidence is vital. Women often equate “self confidence” with the ability to be successful. While many men believe that women look for successful men because they’re likely to make more money, that’s simply not true.

While it’s a given, women actually look for successful men because they’re more likely to be satisfied. So you may be wondering what a man being satisfied has to do with anything. Let me explain. You see, women know that men who are satisfied with themselves are less likely to go out looking for someone to satisfy them and are more stable.

And in a relationship that means a man will be less likely to cheat, or change jobs frequently or get himself into any number of other compromising situations. Remember that most women are looking for a man who will be their partner as well as their lover.

Not only do they want a partner when it comes to things like companionship, decision-making and finances, but in the bedroom, as well. In order to effectively seduce a woman you must make her feel as though you’re both equals.

When it comes to confidence, it seems there are two kinds of people – those who have it and others who simply don’t. Although on the surface this may be true, everyone has the potential to be “self confident”, or motivated if you would like to call it.

Take heart in knowing that you’re a good person, smart, funny, good at your job, loving, considerate or whatever else you find to be positive character traits that you have. Be comforted to know that NOT all women are looking for a CEO or brain surgeon. They just want a man who’s confident with who he is, what he knows and what he has to offer to a relationship with them!

Understanding what a woman is looking for in a man is the first secret to seducing a woman. For many men, the concept of how to seduce a woman is simply a mystery. It’s understandable, though. Men and women differ in so many ways that it’s difficult for many of us to really grasp how to get inside the mind of the opposite sex.

The true key to seducing a woman isn’t a mere laundry list to check off, step by step. It’s more a guidebook on the path you must follow to completely seduce a woman, mind, body and soul. And believe it or not, what really gets a woman going is much simpler than you may have ever imagined.

Understanding the differences between the sexes will help give you a better foundation on which to build your knowledge of women. Once you can get inside her mind, it’s all downhill from there.

Communication is ultimately the most important aspect in seducing a woman. Like so many other aspects of our lives, effective communication is the key to success. You want to take the time to really get to know her and what she’s looking for. This will benefit you greatly when it comes to pleasing her, so don’t think that getting to know your woman is a pointless, grueling task of learning a bunch of useless information.

Patience when seducing your woman is equally important, too. Being in a hurry will only prove to damage any good you could’ve done by learning anything at all about your woman. When it comes to seducing a woman, take it slow. We want a man to take his time, not just rush in for the brass ring. A woman wants to know that you aren’t just playing her for sex. And the best way to prove yourself is to take your time.

All in all, women want to feel special. Being romantic makes us feel special. So if you want to seduce your woman you have to be romantic. It proves that you care, that you want to please her and that you know how to treat a woman right. Romance will take you a long way in seducing a woman.